NOW HOW MANY OF YOU NEED ME TO SUPPLY YOU WITH GUNS...?

by John Cooper
cosmicflyswatter.com

July 7, 2009

I was walking towards Old Town Pasadena last Saturday on my way to the Gap to exchange a shirt when I decided to cut through Memorial Park where there is a small amphitheater. To my surprise there was a Tea Party in progress, so I stopped and listened in on what the folks were saying.

They had a bunch of chairs set up and a free for all was underway. Folks were getting up and giving their opinion on how we can get the reprobates in Washington to stop disrespecting the American public. In my mind the first thing that occurred to me was that we can't get any respect from them because we don't count except on election day. But then I thought that the way things are going it is becoming an increasing fashion to use the "Johnny Rocko" method of vote counting. You know, they take the votes and then keep counting them until the come out "right." Minnesota and Washington State come to mind.

One fellow got up and started to say that we need to be careful since Libertarians might not agree and jump ship. I think that is what he was saying. He was so vague. Another one got up and started to recount the travesty of the California budget and how half of the deficit was due to illegal immigrants. He got some applause. There were others who spoke and they all had something truthful to say, at least partially. But I was beginning to get nervous. It happens when I'm impatient and hoping for somebody to say something new and inspirational. This was not happening. And my mind began to drift.

Then one guy got up and started to shame the folks for not volunteering and organising enough. This is when my consciousness began to stray into stories that have been registered in my memory banks.

If you saw "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid," you might remember a scene where Butch and Sundance were above a saloon cavorting with prostitutes while down below outside the sheriff's office another meeting was taking place. The sheriff was recruiting a posse. My mind was recalling a few inaccurate bits and pieces of the scene while I was yet standing and watching in Pasadena, CA on this 4th of July,

Sheriff "Now as you know, Butch Cassidy and his gang have robbed our bank."

There is no response.

Sheriff " So it is our duty to form a posse and... get after him."

Still no response.

Sherrif "Now how many of you have guns?"

No response again.

Sheriff "Well how many of you need me to supply you with guns?"

The Sherriff is getting nowhere with the folks.

Sheriff "Now do you want me to go after him myself?... I don't think that is what you want... now is it?"

My vision of my real and present realty returned to hear a nice chap who was asking the folks to volunteer to become precinct captains. It seemed to me that I was watching the same story in Pasadena and in the old movie at the same time. No one was saying anything.

So my mind drifted back towards the movie where also the audience was seemingly deaf and dumb. Then someone in the crowd spoke up. It was Barak Obama. And he said,

"Do you know what I think?"

Barak, dressed in a bicycle outfit, jumps up on the porch next to the Sheriff and brushes him aside. Rahm Immanuel lifts up a bicycle and some other gear and hands it to Obama who takes over speaking to the crowd.

"I say, ladies and gentlemen meet the future!"

The bicycle is a hybrid of some sort with solar panel on it. Obama puts on a helmet with a propeller on top and mounts the bicycle. The Sheriff is a little indignant.

Sheriff "Now just a second here I am trying to raise a posse!"

Obama "Look Sheriff they are not listening to you so I thought why let a good crisis go to waste. As long as you have got these folks together I thought I might take advantage....

Obama plugs his wind propellar helmet into a socket on the bike and then adresses the folks again,

"Folks meet the future of transportation direct from Gubmint Motors. It's the latest in alternative transportation that will create jobs and free us from dependence on foreign oil..."

My fantasy was getting mixed up and out of control so I focused on what was really going on in front of me in time/space in Pasadena, CA. I'm not so sure that this kind of comic relief in my own mind isn't dangerous. Am I not drifting in an unresponsive manner while Rome burns?

I got up and threw in my two cents and I realized that I needed to organize my thoughts more clearly. I need to be able to let folks know that standing around trying to get organized against the likes of Obama and his gang is fine after we decide what it is we want. Everybody there was sure what they didn't want. They were sick of massive government spending and the crushing and the seizure of the private sector. They were tired of bills being passed that the reprobates in Washington had not even read. But no one knew what they did want.

It is clear to me that the real problem for conservatives of all stripes whether they be Republicans or Libertarians or Independents is not the Democratic Party. Except for a few Blue Dogs who actually care about the preservation of our way of life, the Democrats are now after big government in bed with big business in bed with big finance in order to make big slaves of us all for our own good. At least we know where they stand.

The Republicans on the other hand are now having a really Bad Hair Day. They are busy trying to recreate the Christian Coalition and Newt Gingrich's Contract with America, only in a more complex version. Now they need to get homosexuals on board who demand marriage licences to kill their own consciences, young indoctinated moron college girls who want to screw and flush, and libertarians who have convinced themselves that morality is a greater death sentence than killing yourself with drugs or sex.

Any coalition that tries to square all these things and family values at the same time is impossible. Besides if you are into community organizing you already lost. His name is Barak Obama and he speaks with a perfect forked tongue. He makes up morality as he goes which is lapped up by the kittens of the MSMedia. Meanwhile the Republicans are cheating on their wives with as much regularity as the pretty boy Democrats. At least the Dems don't make a big deal out of morality: that is the true Biblical kind.

Nope. It's over rover. The Republicans have the Necons still in charge. But the Neo-Cons are just that: New Con artists. They certainly aren't conservatives. Conservatives don't need a hyphen. The Big Tenters are finished. There are a couple of true conservatives left and the rest are second rate progressives. And the only 100% true conservative who walks the walk besides talking the talk just quit. That would be Sarah Palin.

All our problems as a nation revolve around one thing, BIGNESS. Anything that gets too big gets complacent and then mediocre and then corrupt. So the government under Bush was not restrained by a conservative, it was grown. The Democrats grew a BIG "house for free scam" that was taken advantage of by the BIG overgrown fat corrupt Wall Streeters who purchased the debt and grew a BIG international gambling casino around it. Meanwhile BIG business grew so corrupt they now are in bed with BIG finance and BIG government. They call it "The Too BIG to Fail Theory." The BIG intellectuals at Harvard wrote BIG papers about it to support their BIG East coast friends. The BIG scam is on the regular churchgoing useful little idiots who pay for everything.

And its just beginning, the BIG scientists in the UN have cooked up a BIG scam on the world to make everyone pay them BIG money that will be swallowed by that BIG corrupt organization known as General Electric, who ordered their subsidiary BIG media NBC to lie about BIG Obama.

Oh well. Our way of life is fading because we cannot decide what is right and what is wrong. It is called morality. And without it no democracy survives. Never has never will. At the beginning everyone was in agreement about certain things at least. The ten commandments were taught to every child without exception. The folks thought it as a good idea to inform kids that lying and cheating and stealing and murdering was an offence against the God in whose image we were all made. That would be the same God we claimed gave us our inalienable rights, you know, those rights over which BIG government has no perogative under our original charter. Nobody even thought about gay marriage because the idea would have been considered a contradiction besides being a perversion. It was illogical.

As long as we try to fashion our society in the image of the Tower of Babel we will get a lot of babel. We get a second rate episode of Star Trek the Impossible Generation. And the good striving little sinner/saints who pay all the taxes will lose the greatest freedom of all which is the freedom to pursue a happiness without the Liars' World imposing its view of things on them.

But back to Pasadena, at the Tea Party, the hapless Republicans are still trying figure out just the right mix of morality and tolerance to get back in it. In the Main Ring right now, there are the "Twittering McCains."

We need a new party. Otherwise I'm sure to keep hearing,

"So how many of you will need me to supply you with guns?"

While conservatives sleep.