TIME WARPS AND EAR TICKLERS (Part 1)
by John Cooper
cosmicflyswatter.com

May 30, 2009

Captain's log star date 45 24.7. We are stuck circling our own planet Earth.

We were headed to Star Base 11 to put in for needed repairs when an encounter with ancient loose space debris from the Secular Alley of Wall Street Sector altered our course just enough to where we came within the massive gravitational pull of the Giant Red Star known as Lenin 6.

We had to reverse our warp drives to maximum, but the a sling shot effect has put us circling Earth. Only now it's the Earth year 1931...

Mr. Spock, Mr. Sulu and I have beamed down outside a distorted clock tower. Spock thinks we may be able to run the clock backwards enough to the exact time coordinates recorded by our ship's computer log when the time warp took place. But time is running out and we must return to the present before we damage the future...

Had enough yet? I'm just asking... Yesterday I asked a relative how he was doing with everything being as they are. His answer was "We're fine. We are not buying this recession/depression crap!"

It was an interesting answer. A lot of folks aren't buying it either. Let's just leave Barak Obama out of this if we can. He is already finished unless some sort of Reality Fairy smacks him on the forehead really hard. For those who held hands and sprinkled sugar and spice all over their hope and dreams I have a message from Earth. Get over it!

Ex Nihilo Nihilo Fit. Nothing comes from nothing. Thinking other wise is what got us into this mess and continuing in this philosophical dream world will toss us off the cliff.

This, for those who are drinking Bill O'Reilly's special secret "don't call it Kool Aid, Kool Aid," is precisely what the Democrats are doing wittingly. The hapless Republicans are still trying to figure out how to Out-Democrat Democrats. They've hired the circus act of the famous "Twittering McCain's" to help sell their cheap second rate snake oil. For my money, I prefer Bobbies Baby Brand and their Free Radical’s Lamentable, manufactured by the Burnt Out Baby Boomer Corporation (Democrat Party). At least it's authentic! Olberman has cases of the stuff.

But back to reality. Nothing comes from nothing. Real Wealth is not manufactured by Ponzi schemes designed to make the best of government schemes designed to take advantage of demographics for power consolidation. Smells bad just saying it.

Spock and I will do our best to get us out but first we have to clean up any traces of our being in the past. I suggest everyone steer clear of Red Giant Lenin 6 and take command of your own star ship. And don't look for help from Star Fleet Command. They are the ones responsible. They were too busy sodomizing with Wall Streeters on our nickels. Like Bill O'Reilly "They didn't see this coming." So much for Harvard University. Then they figured the only answer was to hire another Harvard graduate to run Star Fleet Command. Ex Nihilo, Nihilo Fit.

So maybe we should get real. Maybe we should put hope where it belongs. Maybe we should reform and forget the "change" horse manure. Let's admit to certain things and stop drinking snake oil. Then we can get out of this manufactured malaise which is nothing more than a money grab by international bankers and a power grab by New-Age Marxists in our government. So first let's take responsibility for allowing this to happen, that way we can see forward.

It didn't happen because of eight years of mismanagement. That is political rhetoric designed as a daily spoonful of snake oil. This phrase along with tax cuts for the rich are tiny truths dressed up as big truths to manipulate and dull down any grumblings that might wake us up.

Our problems started surfacing in the sixties. The present mess was set in motion in the late eighties and early nineties. The collapse was nurtured on September 18th of last year. But here is the hard part. We let them do it. It is our fault for abandoning our own lifelines and putting our trust in things that ten thousand years of wisdom have warned us against.

The good news is we can recover and turn this around in a single year if we are willing to Let the Truth Hurt! The bad news is that we are over saturated with so much cultural debris that it looks pretty bad.

Dammit Spock! I'm sick of your logic!

The first thing we need to do is ignore the doublespeak of the Ear Ticklers. This would be Gibbs in the White House and O'Reilly on television. Tune them out and you just might be able to hear the faint echoes of the Truth guiding all who are lost in a Time Warp.

Spock and I are busy working on the clock, but we will let you know about our progress tomorrow. In the mean time, exercise and eat right. The Truth is going to hurt. But we can handle it. Anyone that embraces Truth is going to be mocked and attacked by the Cling-Ons (east coast parasite class) and the Bumulans (west coast perverts.) And there are other enemies, so get ready. We will tell you more tomorrow.

Kirk out.