SWINE FLU! SWINE FLU!
by John Cooper
cosmicflyswatter.com

April 27, 2009

I heard it on the radio. We're really in for it now. Apparently the President shook someones hand and they died the next day of the Swine Flu. What's that all about? It was on the radio before I lost the channel's signal. They were talking about emergency powers and taking everyone's guns away like they did during Hurricane Katrina.

I don't think I believe any of this. I thought the Swine Flu was what the taxpayers and unwitting investors were already suffering. I thought the Swine Flu originated in vats being stirred in the basement of the the Federal Reserve. I thought the Swine Flu was something cooked up by Paul What's-His-Name and little Timmy Geitner and maybe Rahm Immanuel, and maybe all the other Banker Boys. But they are saying it is from Mexico?

Sounds a little fishy to me.

But now that I think about it, I don't feel very good.

I think I'm sick... No, I think I'm dying from the Swine Flu!

I don't care about my 401K for Cryin' Out Loud, or that stinking job I lost, or GM or Taxes, or anything else for that matter.

Let the Thieves take what they want. Go ahead steal my gun! I need a belly rub! And Quick!