EARTH DAY COME AND GONE

by John Cooper
cosmicflyswatter.com

April 23, 2009

The Sun came up and travelled across the sky and went back down again. I know some folks would find this sentence disturbing, pointing out that it is clear evidence that I am backwards, that I am a geocentrist. Well what do you want? It was Earth Day yesterday and in honor of the Earth I simply elevated its position relative to the Sun. The Sun came up and rotated about us and then went back down. So what? If you ask a physicist he will have to admit that since Einstein presented his Theories of Relativity, it is just as correct to say that the Sun travels around the Earth, especially on Earth Day. It makes me wonder what all the fuss was about with Copernicus and Galileo.

My Earth Day was fairly uneventful. I decided to study Green Building, not because of some fat greedy extortionist former Vice-President, but simply because going green couldn't hurt. Well, maybe I should qualify this. As long as the slimy politicians are not involved we'll be all right. Besides I may need a government job before too long. I might as well start preparing on Earth Day 2009.

Like I said, the Sun came up and went back down. It was all OK for me. I proceeded with that same faint yearning that accompanies all Believers during their daily pilgrimage in exile on God's good green earth. No problem. I am always thankful that I am alive, I am in relatively good health, and I am not starving. I am also in the most blessed country on Earth to celebrate my Earth Day. You can't beat that now can you?

Then I turned on the television and watched the news. The Democrats were doing their best imitation of the little girl in the movie "The Bad Seed." Apparently they still cannot get over Richard Nixon who I have been told has been dead for many years. They are willing to jeopardize the security of their own nation to prove some tiny revenge motivated point. As I have said before they are Liars and Thieves so they are excusing this travesty in typical Orwellian fashion as "good for the country."

Now the Republicans, being the Cowards and Hypocrites that they are have risen with their normal half-assed defense of things, arguing among themselves as to what philosophical footing, and what construction elements will make them the most popular. They hope they can devise new construction techniques that will pass inspection and sweep them back into power. Then they can destroy the country in a more reasonably slow manner. I switched the channel.

I came upon the hot topic for Earth Day 2009. A strikingly attractive young woman in a beauty contest was cornered by a gay judge and asked if she didn't think it was great that judges in three states have overridden the will of the people to make gay marriage legal. She was very gracious in her answer politely telling him that its a free country but that she liked the idea of marriage being what it has always been, between a man and a woman. The controversy over this centered upon her being denied the crown over her answer. Subsequently the gay judge went on a rampage calling this beauty who simply told the truth of her beliefs (which is what she was asked) a b**** and later a c***.

Well this provided everybody in the Propaganda Class (Media) with a lot of fun on Earth Day. There were endless displays of the beauty answering the question and the beastly behavior of the gay judge using vulgarities. There were comments and arguments and screaming and yelling. A good time was had by all. But this display reminded me that my life is just a pilgrimage. And that vague yearning that hangs about my soul was increased by the despicable treatment of what appeared to be a nice young woman. The first chapter of Romans began to shoulder its way to the front of the line in my thoughts. Then I thought of Soloman who said there is nothing new under the Sun.

I needed to process this Non Sense so that I could enjoy my dinner on Earth Day. So I thought to my self that on the positive side, the young beauty is now free of the fabricated glory of the contest. She came out with flying colors. She is free to use her talent and gifts now unrestrained by the falseness of the world. She should be celebrating Earth Day, since it is on God's good green Earth that she has triumphed.

As to the poor beast that attacked the beauty. He is now more pitiful than before, not because of his homosexuality, which is his personal burden, but because he has done a disservice to his own misguided cause.

Solomon was right there is nothing new under the Sun. Yet I have come away from my Earth Day slightly changed. I will no longer answer any question about my position on gay marriage in the same way that I have before. I will now politely answer that I am opposed to Sodomite Marriage. My Earth Day has come and gone.